yes! this is me.

I always wanted to write every messages that comes to my mind but it seems that the words coming from my head are not exactly the expression that I am writing. There's always a dilema inside in me in terms of my writing skills. I actually found myself idiot about this matter and I felt so dumb and moron and all. I envy my classmates and friends who can write so well. I always wish to be like them. I want to imitate them. I am jealous of what they can do. Everytime I see them, I always feel so little. They have been my energy drainer since i knew them.

Indeed, man have all these flaws. Flaws that made them imperfect. Imperfect of the things they wanted to be perfect. To be awesome but turned into a fear. I actually have this self inferiority. I treat myself as someone who cannot contribute like a great mind can do. Is it wrong to wish something like this for your self? Is it bad to look your self as someone you wanted to be? I admit, its all my fault. Fault that I never nourish so it turns into dormant skill. Is there anymore time to developed of what I have neglected? I wish I can bring back time.

This brings to my sense when I have read one of the write- ups of my friend. I thougth this person will be added as my energy drainer. Another man to remind me that i cannot do of what he is good at it. But i was wrong, he became my motivation to write and t speak my conviction, feelings, and ideas.


--to be contiue